39 posts tagged “happiness”

Today's post from Better than Chocolate

According to the spiritualist Shaykh Fadhlalla Haeri, one of the essential factors in a person's happiness is their level of self-discipline.  Regular overindulgence in food, alcohol, sex, even thinking can tax and weaken our body, mind and soul.

Practicing self-discipline in these areas strengthens our mind and self-image, as we begin to see ourselves as master of our body, rather than its slave.  Restraint leads to stability, stability to contentment.  Take a few minutes to evaluate your life.  In what areas do you lack self-discipline?  What are three simple things you could do to tame these weaknesses?

This is your Better Than Chocolate post for Friday!

A common characteristic of happy people is that they feel they have control over their lives.  If you are unhappy, review your life to see where you feel things are out of control, then take action.

Too often, when we find ourselves in a difficult position, we withdraw and lick our wounds.  That's ok for a while but doing something to solve the problem usually does more good.

Write a list of all the areas in your life in which  you feel you don't have control.  Now write down three things you could do to improve each situation.  Perhaps you need to tell someone how you really feel.  Maybe you need to change the direction or let something (or someone) go.  Taking action can be hard, but if the result increases your sense of control over you life, you are likely to feel much happier for it.

In today's society, there is an ever increasing array of stuff we are tempted to buy - new furniture, the latest electronics, this seasons must  have dress, that new car.... the list goes on.  BUT ITS ALL A TRAP Growing scientific research shows that an obsession with material gain actually makes us less happy.  Positive psychologies expert Martin Seligman has show that those who focus purely on making more money are less happy than the average person.

What's more, it has been proven that once someone's income rises above the basic poverty line, there is little difference in happiness between them and the rich.  Studies indicated that the availability of material possessions is nine times less vital to happiness than personal assets like friends and family.  Clearly , the old adage is true: you can't buy happiness.

According to the research of David Myers, a leading Positive Psychology Therapist) people who are happier that the average tend to exhibit four characteristics.

1. High self esteem

2. A feeling of self control over life

3. Optimism

4 Extroversion

Our happiness will increase as we cultivate these personality traits.  Take a few minutes now to write down some ways you could incorporate these four traits in your own character. 

Flow theory is one of the most important breakthroughs of the last twenty years.  Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, its pioneer, suggests that enjoyment consists of four components:

1. We are doing an activity that is challenging;

2. it is clear how we are progressing (the rules are simple)

3. it takes all of our concentration

4. but we are making progress and feel in control.

We tend to experience flow when we practice a discipline such as an art or a sport or a religion.  Activities such as watching TV are not usually flowful because they lack a sense of achievement.  The more flow activities we incorporate into our lives, the happier we feel.  What five activities create flow for you, and how could you do more of them each day?

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For a twist  here is a post I did on flow last year:

I am way behind but still committed to getting all 50 in here! Here is
today's excerpt and the three I am missing from this week :)

Daily excercise can have a huge impact on how positive we feel. There are
several reasons why. First, giving our body a regular workout helps reduce
tension and stress. Second, studies have shown that excercise changes our
body's biochemistry. During excercise we produce natural opiates, known as
endorphins, that make us feel happier - hence the famous "runners high".

Finally, regular excercise reduces fat, improves muscle tone, clears the
skin, and makes us feel strong. These changes often lead to a signifigant
increase in self-esteem, a mental state closely linked with happiness.

As we've seen, almost every activity is enjoyed more with friends. So, why not organize a weekly activity group to make social leisure activities more regular? In his brilliant book The Psychology of Happiness, Michael Argyle shows how much activity groups can enhance the well being of everyone involved.

Here's how it might work: Put together a list of five or six people you enjoy being with and whom you feel would get along with each other.  Introduce the concept of the activity group and get each person to commit to coming up with one novel activity every month or so. That way, you'll have at least one enjoyable event to look forward to each
week! Over the year that adds up to closer friendships, many new experiences and a huge increase in fun!

This one is for Erin!

Having a fluffy, friendly pal around the home does wonders for happiness. Most people report a considerable lift in mood when there's a pooch or kitty in their life. Indeed, in a major study, students rated getting a pet as one of the greatest positive events in their  lives.

Your landlord won't allow a pet? No problem! Go down to the park in the mornings and give other people's pets a pat. It's almost impossible not to be uplifted when you give affection to animals, whether they are yours or someone else's.

In his classic book Man's Search for Meaning, psycholgost Victor Frankle showed that prisoners in Nazi concentration camps during World War II who wanted to survive for a particular reason often lived longer than prisoners who had no concrete goal.

Purpose or meaning in our lives is crucial.
In fact, many happiness experts believe in a sense of meaning or purpose is the attribute most strongly associated with life satisfaction.  Frankl even created a new type of psychology - known as Logotherapy - based around this theory.

Why are you alive?  Develop a life mission statement - a simple paragraph that sums up your main aim in life.  Post it up in your home and workplace, and work toward it daily.  As you get clearer about and more committed to your life mission, your level of satisfaction will rise.

Two posts for today from Better than Chocolate!

Modern life has become ridiculously busy and complex.  By doing less, owning less , worrying less and pushing ourselves less we can often restore a sense of balance and contentment to our lives.  If the complexity of your life is making you unhappy, try these life simplifiers:

• Recycle a third of your clothes, books and possessions you do not absolutely need
• Reduce your daily work hours by 10 percent
• Schedule three nights a week when you do nothing social
• See less of the friends or family who exhaust you
• spend 20 minutes a day sitting on a sofa doing nothing

Follow these steps and you'll find that within weeks you're more organized, less tired and considerably happier.