4 posts tagged “personal”
My dog, Calliope, turns 15 today. FIFTEEN! That is pretty old for a lab/shepard mix. I made her come outside this morning for some photos and tonight I will take her to dairy joy for a small vanilla cone.. I wonder if she knows its her birthday?
I do know she hates having her picture taken and she wouldn't sit still for anything.
The vet says she is in really good shape for a dog of her age and she is just starting now to have hip problems. I do not do so well when she is not feeling good or when she might be sick. I guess when I got her I never gave a thought to what it would be like all those years later when she was getting older, or to the fact that she might not be with me forever.
My mother asks me if I am going to get another dog after Calliope and I am not sure I am. I love her but its heartbreaking to see her get older and I am not sure how I will be when she is gone. I got Cali when I was 20 years old - I am 35 now! I can hardly think of who I was back then, what I was thinking. I am pretty sure I either thought I knew everything or I wasn't thinking at all about how long she would be with us, how many times we would move, she would move, how many jobs I would have or places I would live. I think she likes where we live now, we have 2 acres of land and for the most part she can wander all over it as much as she likes. She has had Lyme disease for over 8 years now so I don't worry too much about the ticks so I can let her go where she wants. She doesn't have any other animals to compete with and except for my nieces, who I think are her arch enemies - she is the queen bee. We never broke her of the habit of eating people food, so she wants that alot - sometimes I wonder if she is being fed enought considering how much human food she consumes.
She now sleeps in later than I do and some days I have to wake her up to go out before I leave for work, but that is what retirement is - sleeping in alot:) She has either gone deaf or she now has selective hearing. I like to think it selective hearing and she is thinking to herself "you people are crazy - I am just going to ignore you when you call me inside or tell me to move over - I am old and get to do what I want"
So thats my dog, and I love her, and I think Matt likes her a bit. My family loves her, the girls aren't really sure, the other day Riley had forgotten I even had a dog....
Happy Birthday Calliope!
OK well its finally over.. and honestly the stress got to us all! I decided to pass on the position in France for a variety of reasons. I initially turned down the job and they called me back and said that they would craft it whatever way I needed it crafted to make it work for me. There is not better place to be in while negotiating but travel was a requirement and I wasn't sure I could make all of that work.
IN a conversation with Jocelyn yesterday, while we were looking at what a salary increase might mean, we came to the conclusion that no amount of money would buy back the time I missed, and any increase I got would not be so significant as to change my standard of living.
This was not an easy decision to make and last night sitting in Erin's office when Matt said "I am having a hard time because I can't seem to figure out what you want" it dawned on me that I wasn't sure what I wanted.
I have taken the approach in the past that when an opportunity comes your way you take it - but there are a couple of things that are different this time around.
I love my Matty: This is the first time a big choice like this has come up and I have been in a serious relationship. This time my choice would affect that person and our relationship - good, bad or indifferent. I had to give that some thought this time and some of my old fears about making the wrong choice came into play. Matt told me he would support me whatever choice I made but what if the choice I made wasn't what he wanted.... and did I even know what I wanted?
I love my photography: It would have been one thing if I had said I want to be a international project manager, or I was interested in climbing the corporate ladder here at my job, or that I wanted to be an SVP by the time I am 45 - but I don't... i want to be a photographer and taking a job for a year in France isn't going to make my photography resume look any better, as a matter of fact is going to make it look worse since I will lose all that time I could be home shooting. I would have passed up on opportunities and weddings and experience that I could use NOW to beef up that resume and that is what is important.
I love my life: I really do....I love the plans that we have for the summer, I love my little business that is growing, I love seeing Erin every day at work, I love cooking dinner for Matt during the week, I love Hailey and Riley, we love to fly kites in the summer and go to Mi's house for dinner, I love my dog and my church and going to the movies and being able to see the people that I care about every day.. and I can't do all of that with this job. And not that I wouldn't have been able to craft a schedule that had me home a lot, it would have been that this job would be a 60 hour a week job - even when I am home. And now I have a 40 hour a week day job, and its predictable and easy and I can do the things I love much more than if I took another job.
This experience was good for us. I think Matt and I grew closer through this experience. We had to discuss things and talk about what each of us wanted, and compromise and see what fits best. I hope through all of it we were honest with each other. I think in the end we are both happy with the decision - I know I am because I like being with him and being in France means I would do that less:(
This experience also gave me an appreciation for my current job. Sure its not mentally challenging and there are some quirks but you know what it doesn't leave me tired (physically or mentally) at the end of the day so I can be ready to focus on photography. Instead of railing against what this job is not I am going to appreciate it for all that it is and what it lets me do.
I need to take all that energy I would have spent on this job and doing the French work and turn that into my photography business. This experience heightened that knowledge for me and gave me a bit of a nudge which I needed.
Today's post from a book I have called Better Than Chocolate - 50 Proven ways to feel Happier (purchase it here), by Siimon Reynolds
Our brains are goal-activating mechanisms. We tell our brain what we want and it devises a system for getting there. The problem, according to achievement expert Brian Tracy, is that only around 3% of the population sets goals. No wonder so many people feel that their life has little or no direction.
It's easily remedied though. Grab a piece of paper right now and spend ten minutes dreaming about what you would like to achieve in the following areas: health, career, social, family, spiritual and pleasure. Then choose your five favorite goals and begin acting - TODAY - to make them happen. You'll find each step you take toward your goals will increase both your self-esteem and your wellbeing.
Each WORK day for the next 50 days I am going to be posting an excerpt from a book I have called Better Than Chocolate - 50 Proven ways to feel Happier (purchase it here), by Siimon Reynolds. I keep this book at work and refer to it when I am having an off day. The gray weather lately has given me quite a few off days but we are going to start coming out of it! Today's excerpt pertains to my friend Alison most of all - see her latest post:
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Find Satisfying Work
The research is clear - if you dislike your job you will not enjoy a happy life. Of course, there are 2 solutions to this dilemma. The obvious one is to change jobs. A study by Micheal Argyle, Monica Henderson and Adrian Funham showed that getting a new job is liekly to be one of life's most positive experiences. We know this, and yet some of us choose to work for years in a job we hate rather than spending a little time finding a new one. The 2nd solutions is to change your attitude toward your job. Ask yourself, "What is good about htis job? How could I make it better? how could I deisgn my work so that I could enjoy it?" After all, as Shakespeare said, "ther is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" A genuine change in attitude can often make a boring job fun again and reignite a career.
